It Never Rains, by Kari Maaren
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Sunday, February 14, 2016
Valentine Kylo and Darth

Valentine Chewie

Valentine Luke

Valentine Han Solo

Valentine Luke and Leia
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Hello, all. Here are some unexpected Star Wars Valentine's Day cards for you. I made them via my close association with the Twitter personality Tough Love Leia, though of course I have no clue who she actually is (*whistles*). At any rate, have five chirpy Valentine's Day cards full of incest, bestiality, dismemberment, narcissism, and necrophilia. They refer mostly to the original series because of the backstory behind why Leia posts them; otherwise, I would have had a lot of fun with Poe, Finn, and Rey. Ah well. Maybe next year.

Sunday, February 14, 2016

Card 1: Kylo Ren sits contemplating Darth Vader's mouldering helmet. He holds a rose out towards it.

Caption A: Will you be my Valentine?

Caption B: To: ______ From: ______

Card 2: Chewbacca grins sexily while making a "Who, me?" gesture.

Caption A: Happy Valentine's Day

Caption B: To: / From:

Caption C: but I'd rather kiss a Wookiee

Card 3: Luke Skywalker gazes in horror at the smoke rising from his wrist stump.

Caption A: I love you THIS much.

Caption B: To: / From:

Caption C: Be mine!

Card 4: Han Solo smirks.

Caption A: You love me.

Caption B: To: / From:

Caption C: I know.

Card 5: Leia kiss Luke as Han Solo looks on.

Caption A: To ______ From ______

Caption B: Be My Valentine

Caption C: and stop kissing your brother

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Content copyright Kari Maaren 2014-2015
Images copyright Kari Maaren 2014-2015